she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
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