she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Randomize
