We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
