I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
They have beer where we have blood.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Randomize
