Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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