i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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