Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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