I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
