pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
