What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
