We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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