Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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