Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
