And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
