They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
