Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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