everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
