I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
