The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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