I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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