I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
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