..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
