i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
