I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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