Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
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