I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
