i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
There's always time for handjobs
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
