In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
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