can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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