Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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