the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
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