I wanna bring you to show and tell
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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