i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize