is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Acid is not a monday night drug
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
