Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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