Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Randomize
