you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Randomize
