Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
