Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize