Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
