I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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