are you so shy because you have an std?
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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