with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
