Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Randomize
