thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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