i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Randomize
