IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
don't judge my taste in strippers
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
