Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
