the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
