I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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