I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
farters have to be the big spoon...
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Randomize
