You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
