We named our party play list daddy issues
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
