She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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