She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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