ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
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