Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
We need to rekindle our bromance
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Randomize
