Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
