Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
