i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
