drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Dignity is for republicans.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Randomize