I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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