Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
