My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
