How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
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