porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
