why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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