you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
