Farmville is her only friend.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
