Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
