I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
